Your relationship with yourself is the most important one. No one else can make you believe in yourself, or do any of the work FOR you.  Yes, choose people in your life that help you feel your own inner strength, but know that they can't MAKE you feel that.  You are the only one who can go through the process of acceptance and love of self - flaws, mistakes and all - to come to  'KNOW YOURSELF'. 

Further, when you are going through truly exceptional and intense things, this commitment is critical. It will likely require you to go against many social norms to create the environment that will be best for YOU through this journey; so that you can survive it, be changed by it and re-engage with life again. 

 Your brain is busy - that is just how they work. They key is noticing, WITHOUT judgement, and returning to your meditations focus. Judging only hinders your process and the benefit of the meditations. Also learning to stop judging yourself can also help you to diminish your judgement of others... it builds capacity for compassion. 

Non-judgement does not mean not pushing yourself. When things are difficult it is easy to make excuses NOT to meditate. Just notice this;  if you are attending to your goal and larger intention you can choose to take the time to practice. Holding yourself accountable means being honest with yourself and knowing sometimes you do have to push, or dig deep, for motivation. Non-judgement means doing this kindly, without harshness. 

Understand that our DMN (Default Mode Network) is innately self referencing and generally keeps us focused on experiences/feelings of the past, or experiences/anticipated feelings around upcoming events (actual or feared/imaginary). Meditation deactivates the DMN by shifting focus to other parts of the brain. When we meditate we move out of or decrease activation of the DMN and we can begin to recognize that we are safe in the present moment and can become more aware of the present moment. This not only soothes the amygdala and the nervous system, bringing them greater calm,  it also increases the plasticity of the brain, allowing for formation of new neural pathways. This process is foundational to changing our brains when our nervous system, and stress response, is stuck. 

This idea is one which sounds easier than it is. Being able to identify when we are resisting things (thoughts, feelings, etc) helps us to have the choice to either continue resisting, or to step into allowing. When we allow, we don't cling to things and we don't push them away. Allowing painful feelings to flow THROUGH us is difficult, but it has a very different effect on us than resisting or clinging. When we allow and give space for our feelings we honor those parts of ourselves, which helps us in integrating our experiences. 

This is a word I encourage you to invite into your regular daily awareness. Especially when you feel off, irritated, stuck, or out of sorts. In these moments asking yourself where you may not be allowing things to be as they are. WE have delusions and illusions of control in life and often things feel difficult when we are not just allowing what IS, when we have not ability to change it or make things different. Allowing helps greatly with Acceptance and is a key to Surrender and letting go. 

KNOW that you are connected to ALL things simply by being alive on the planet RIGHT NOW

Feeling connected is remarkably important to our sense of well-being. We are social creatures and in the depths of our psyche, and our entire being, we are wired for connection. Feeling connected helps: our sense of self;  our feelings of being loved, appreciated, cared for, and valued;  our perception of our value to the world; our sense of meaning and purpose; our sense of WORTH - that it MATTERS that we exist. Much of the pain created by our society has its root in the belief that we are NOT connected - that the system of domination over others is just or good for the world. This is clearly incorrect, as domination only creates suffering. We absolutely need one another and we impact one another not only with our actions, but also with our words, our thoughts - literally all of our choices. HOW we think about one another - IF we consider one another at all - plays a major role in forming how we move through the world and treat others. Recognizing our impact and making conscious choices about what that looks like an important step toward helping the world be a place of well-being. We are interconnected and woven together... all of us - human and non-human. Feeling connected helps us to experience a richer sense of value in one another and can be a lifeline when we feel desperately isolated and alone in our pain. 

We are conditioned to think in either/or or black/white ways. Yet this type of thinking tends to leave us rigid, uncompromising, stuck and often agitated, disappointed or miserable. Many mental health issues involve this rigid type of thinking. The antidote = BOTH/AND thinking! Whenever you can, invite this into your mind. It is connected to allowing. Black and white thinking is tied to forcing and judgement. Both/And thinking brings you into a softer state. This can be especially helpful if you are feeling things that seem to conflict. Can you just hold BOTH feelings? Allow BOTH to just BE as they ARE. This helps increase your flexibility and neural plasticity, as well as, greatly increases a sense of balance and calm acceptance. 

This wisdom from my teacher and founder of the NeuroMeditation Institute, Dr. Jeff Tarrant, is GOLD!! Live by this. Yes there are times we must put forth incredible effort, but there is a distinct difference between effort and force. If you feel you are trying to MAKE yourself attain a certain state, or you are trying to MAKE your brain do something, just stop - it won't work. The only route to moving your brain into different states is to drop into yourself, open, and gently allow your mind to be led into the desired state by the meditation you are listening to or remembering. This mindset can apply to many difficulties in life. If things are not going your way ask where you might be forcing and step back. Rivers flow along the route of least resistance. When it comes to meditation - Be the River! 

Much has been reported in the media regarding the beneficial impact of spending time in Nature. While any time spent in nature brings benefit to the body and mind, spending intentional time, forest bathing, or meditating in nature, amplifies these effects. Nature quite literally makes us feel better. 

On a personal level, I experienced noticeable difference in the efficacy of my meditations when I did them while immersed in Nature. This pattern was consistent regardless of which style I was practicing or which issue I was experiencing at the moment ie: depression, anxiety, PTSD, or complicated grief. 

Nature also served as my best ICU ward and sanctuary. When I was unable to get into nature, I noticed a RADICAL difference in my mental state and the level of difficulty I had with managing these states. Nature literally helped me feel more at peace,  more calm, more hope, and more connected to myself and the larger world; I could distinctly FEEL the benefit to both my body and my mind.